Lists
by Andrew
on 20 January 2009
Other Animals PETA Would Like to Rename
- Alligators — Marsh Puppies
- Lobsters — Ocean Bunnies
- Whales — Giant Water Babies
- Manatees — Your Other Grandparents
- Sea Horses — Sea Ponies
by Andrew
on 18 January 2009
Recently Misperceived as the "Mark of the Beast"
- RFID chips
- Barcodes
- Credit Cards
- Monopoly game pieces
- Microsoft Vista
by Andrew
on 14 December 2008
Non-Traditional Signs of the Approaching Christmas Season
- Chia Pet displays
- Hickory Farms mall kiosks (proportional to the number of Starbucks in the vicinity)
- Tenfold increase in worldwide nutmeg consumption
- Sudden and inexplicable fascination with blinking lights
- Atheists extra ornery
by Andrew
on 18 September 2008
Things I've Recently Stopped Caring About
- Mike Meyers movies
- State Quarters
- My eBay profile
- Long-distance savings
- Matching socks
- Republicans
by Andrew
on 03 May 2008
Those Damn Kids And Their:
- Roller Shoes
- Txting
- MySpace
- Shaggy Hair
- Peanut Allergies
- Moral Relativism
by Andrew
on 08 February 2008
by Andrew
on 29 January 2008
Worst Dr. Pepper Impostor Names
- Dr. Skipper
- Dr. Thunder
- Joseph Harison, PhD
- Sir Francis Cottington
- Mr. Pibb
by Andrew
on 01 December 2007
Obscure Shopping Mall Kiosk Products
- On-the-go oatmeal in a self-heating can
- DIY mole removal kits
- Battery-powered shoe heaters
- Personalized crescent wrenches — engraved while you wait!
- Lavish mouthwash sets, complete with chrome tongue scrapers
by Andrew
on 12 November 2007
by Andrew
on 01 November 2007
Overused Conspiracy Players
- Knights Templar
- Freemasons
- Catholic Church
- CIA
- “Neocons”
- Self-aware computers
by Andrew
on 13 August 2007
Indiana Jones Knock-offs
- Kentucky Franklin
- Ohio Smith
- Colorado Chambers
- Idaho Johnson
- Montana Wilson
- Utah Masterson
by Andrew
on 09 August 2007
by Andrew
on 31 May 2007
Live In Fear Because of:
AIDSKiller bees migrating to the USAirborne EbolaMad CowsY2KSARSBird fluMercury in fishTerrorismE. coli spinach- Global Warming